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The MASSIVE Moscow Datasheet 2017
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The MASSIVE Moscow Datasheet 2017

Unlike some other forums this one seems to be a bit short on Moscow datasheets, so I’m happy to chip in. I’ve been living in Moscow for two years and can say that it’s one of the Top 3 cities in the world to me. The lows can be frustrating but the highs are really high.

I broke down the datasheet according to the following categories:

When to go: which time of the year is good to visit, aka is it really cold as balls in winter?

Arrival: a section on which airport to fly into and how to get to the city

Logistics/Where to stay: what’s a good area to stay and how is the city constructed?

Transport: metro, cabs and walking – when to take which option?

Prices: how much does life cost?

Safety:  are you gonna get beaten up by Russian football hooligans and Chechen war vets? (hint: only if you’re dumb af)

Online Game: Tinder, Mamba, Badoo and all the other lame apps that I don’t use anymore but still might be good use for someone visiting

Day Game: what are good spots to meet sexy Russians during the day 

Night Game: leaving the best for last…a MASSIVE breakdown of nightlife venues

Warning: this is a 6,000+ word datasheet, so you might want to set aside some time if you actually want to read through the whole thing at once.

Part 1 - When to go

The climate in Moscow is very continental. The air, unlike in NYC for example, is very dry. That means that even very high and very low temperatures become bearable.

So how cold does it really get?

Between December and March it is pretty much consistently below 0 Celsius. Jan and Feb are the coldest months and yes, you’ll easily get a few days in a row where it’s -20C or less. Thanks to the continental climate though, it is not quite as bad as it sounds. If you pack yourself in in warm clothing, you’ll be good. St.Petersburg is much worse in that regard. The -27C I experienced there once really made your balls shrink.

When does summer start?

The funny thing about Moscow weather is that there’s almost no spring and fall. 

Spring lasts for a good month or so in May when temperatures creep up to 20C. This year unfortunately was particularly bad and we had snow as late as June. Fall starts around Mid-September and also lasts a good month before the first snow starts mid to end of October. 
Actual summer only lasts for a good three months, June to beginning of September. It does usually get pretty warm, around +25, sometimes even above that. Temperatures are bearable and you’ll only really sweat in the metro.

So to recap

6 months of miserable weather (Nov-April)
1 month good (May)
3 months summer (June-Aug)
2 months summer turning into winter (Sep, Oct)

Now when should you actually visit?

Although this might sound particularly bad now, it is actually not at all. Because if you’re out for a good time in Moscow, it doesn’t fucking matter whether you come in winter or in summer.
The best months for visiting are (in that order): June, May, July, September
I excluded August because August is a classic DOWN MONTH. Muscovites leave for dachas or holidays abroad and the city empties out a lot. I’d honestly recommend coming in winter over August.

Benefits of visiting in summer are:
- You don’t have to deal with snow and cold weather
- Everyone’s out and about and walking and being outside will be much more pleasant
- Girls wear less clothing and you get to roam around the parks and chat them up
- 4 out of 5 venues have summer terraces to sit and party outside

Benefits of visiting in winter are:
- You get to experience the hustle and bustle and decorations before NYE, which is a big deal in Russia (provided you come in time)
- People don’t really leave for holidays so everyone will be running towards the clubs in winter to escape the weekday grind 
- Girls wear outrageously hot overknees and fur coats that, quite frankly, look even better than their summer outfits
- Less tourists overall (though Moscow is so spaced out you don’t notice them a lot) 

So to recap:

Yes, I’d recommend visiting in the warmer months but you should not be deterred by the weather. I’d just avoid a few specific dates and weeks like the January holidays (1-10) and the month of August.

Part 2 - How to get your ass to the city

Now this is a short section but I think it warrants an extra few words since you can save yourself some hassle and just have a better experience overall. Unless you get in touch with me to help you out, you’ll have to organize this stuff yourself, so pay good attention.

Moscow has 4 airports but afaik most, if not all, flights to Europe and North America fly into Domodedovo (DME) or Sheremetyevo (SVO). Both are a good deal outside the city but connected with trains to the center. 

My advice:

Definitely try flying into Sheremetyevo!

It is newer, better organized, nicer and will just overall save you a lot of time and nerves, from passing border control to checking in. I mostly fly DME and it drives me nuts every time. They are doing major construction work for the World Cup next year so the situation might improve but this advice still stands.
As far as transportation to the city is concerned, you’ll have to choose between cabs and the Aeroexpress train. Unless, of course, you took care of that beforehand somehow.

The train is cheaper, runs every 30mins and takes you to the circle line in the center. Unfortunately from there you’ll have to deal with changing to the metro and that can be quite unpleasant, especially if you have a lot of luggage and arrive at peak times. You’ll probably also find it hard to find your way through the Moscow metro if it’s your first time and you don’t read Russian. Yes, they do have sort of English info stands and signs in English now but it’s still not all that tourist-friendly.

My recommendation: take a cab

It’s still cheap and just way more convenient. You can get an Uber or Gett, both should be around 20 bucks to the center if you take the cheapest option and maybe 50 if you take a Mercedes (never done, don’t know). It might be a bit iffy, however, with the language barrier and I can’t really say how many drivers speak decent enough English.

Whatever you do, do not get a cab from one of the guys trying to chat you up at the airport!

No matter how “official” they might be, they’re not. They’re scammers and scammers do not deserve to be paid, no matter if it still seems comparably cheap to other major cities. For the money they want to charge you, you can get an Uber Black.

Part 3 - Logistics and Moscow City Center

For better understanding, I drew up a crude map with some rough indicators of what is happening where:

[Image: kmiHIc1.jpg]

These are by no means complete but serve just as a rough indicator. Basically your best case scenario is to be within the first yellow ring. This means you are dead in the center and everything will be a 15-20mins cab ride away tops. Anything within the half-visible orange ring is still good but you’ll need to take the metro/a cab to get to the center.

Moscow is very big and very spread out. Unlike in NYC or London roads are massive. During the day you can walk a good part of the city (in summer) but at night you will be restricted to cabbing it when you’re jumping places. 

Unlike these cities Moscow is also very centralized in the sense that you do not really have quarters that are completely different from one another. Some might have more cafes and bars and others might be more hipsterish but overall they’re all broadly similar. Hence why I can’t really give a top recommendation on which area to stay in besides the obvious tip that being in the center is more convenient (though not necessary). A good rule of thumb is the closer to a metro station, the better.

Part 4 - How to get around

I already briefly mentioned Uber and Gett and these two, together with Yandex taxi should be your go-to apps for hailing a cab. Super convenient and very cheap. I pay about 10 bucks for a 30-45min ride home from the clubs. Basically Uber Black will set you back the cost of a normal cab in a Western city. Gipsy cabs (aka hailing down any random car) still exist but much less than they used to thanks to the improved cab supply and cheap prices. Basically there is no upside in riding with some dodgy stranger in his Lada when you can wait 5mins and take an official cab.

I do still recommend taking the metro, even if only for touristic purposes. Here’s a map:

Metro Map

It not only serves as a mean of transportation but also as a mean of orientation, so you can orientate yourself according to metro stations. Anything within the brown circle is considered central. As you might know, the Moscow metro is almost sacred and stations are very elaborate and a sight to see in itself. Absolutely no comparison to Western metro systems that are dirty, smelly and full of shady characters. It also runs extremely efficiently and in the center you’ll never have to wait more than 2mins for a train.

Part 5 - Prices

I’ll address each cost point separately.


As often the case in Moscow, you can do it really cheap or scandalously expensive. If you’re good with living 50km out of the center (but still within Metro reach), you can get an apartment for 400$. Or you can live dead in the center in a really fancy place for 1,500$. Or, if you really need to show off, in one of the skyscrapers, that will be much better connected to the center from 2018 on, for 3,000$+.

I pay 750$ for an apartment that is fairly out of the center but on the red line. Takes me about 35mins by Metro and 25mins by cab to get to the center. It’s definitely one of the best apartments I’ve seen so far in Moscow, so you’d probably pay double the price for prime location.

In all honesty it is more a matter of convenience than necessity to live in the center. Would I drop double the price if I could easily afford it? Probably. Do I have other priorities at the moment? Yes, I do. To put it bluntly, your location will never cockblock you because Muscovites are simply used to big distances.

I can’t really speak for hotels, I think a good hotel goes for about 100$ a night in a central location. Airbnb has the usual markup over long-term rent, so you can probably add another 25% or so to what I mentioned.


The quality isn’t amazing but the prices are low. I don’t track my expenses on that in detail (prob should) but I’d put it around 300$ at best. That’s with eating at home most of the time.


I already mentioned cabs being super cheap. Really anything above a tenner is simply a rip-off. I’d rather wait 5mins than being ripped off. Time is money and all but I’m not rewarding scammer behavior. 

Metro is even cheaper, one ride costs you 1$, no matter how far you go. If you get a card with a lot of rides like I do, cost goes down another 40% or so. I spend maybe 30$ on the metro at best.

Eating out:

Same story as for accommodation. McD is cheap – a cheeseburger is like 1$ or so, don’t even know. If you get food for you and the skinny girl next to you in a middle class restaurant or one of the chains, it’s gonna be somewhere between 25-35$. If you decide to eat in one of Moscow’s best restaurants like White Rabbit, it’ll be 70-100$+ for one, depending on what you’re getting. 


Now there’s almost never a cover fee, so that is pretty sweet. A couple of clubs do a cover, often clubs with electronic music. Usually somewhere around 20$. Sometimes clubs ask you for a min spend at the door and you have to get a card. That can be anywhere between 25$ and 45$. With my rampant drinking I usually easily exceed that.

Bottle service is actually a much better deal in comparison to that and you can get table reservations from as little as 50$ per person in some venues. Top venues start from 650$ and can go up to 2,000$ if you want a private room with that as well (I reckon that’s for swooping right then and there haha). 


Don’t go to the gym since I work out at home but I think it starts from 35$ a month.


Slightly more expensive than in Europe and much more so than in the US. Think 100$+ for new Levis.


Random stuff like cinema, sports events etc. A good ballpark number is always 25$. If you get cheap seats to wherever you’re going and get a drink and a snack with it then you’ll end up somewhere around this number. Scale it up for better seats, bigger events and having a girl with you.


Flying out is unfortunately not very cheap. Cheapest flights are to my native Munich for about 200$. I paid a whooping 350$ to get to Cyprus. Could’ve gone to New York for 150$ more. I think flying to some SEA destinations is fairly cheap as well. Flights within Russia are cheap but few cities besides St.Petersburg warrant a visit.

Part 6 - How to stay safe

The last section before we get to the meaty stuff Big Grin

Generally Moscow is very safe. In my two years here I’ve never been robbed, threatened or even felt unsafe. Terrorism does exist in Russia too but safety measures are very high, especially in the metro and on public holidays or events. Generally the worst thing that can happen to you is your own stupidity or being scammed by a cab driver. So don’t go around flashing your wealth, talking obnoxiously loud English to people that don’t want to hear it, picking fights with the wrong kind of people (especially Caucasus). Common sense stuff really. Within the center there’s no such thing as a no-go area and even in the suburbs I couldn’t think of any especially dodgy areas. Safety measures in the clubs are high and no one takes an interest in you unless you really try to in the wrong way.

That said, on to the interesting part…

Part 7 - Online Game

Personally I deleted any apps a long time ago, simply because they are not my style, rob me of my best strengths, waste my time and generally decreased in quality a lot.
However, if you’re coming for the first time and haven’t smashed models left and right yet Wink you’ll still be impressed by the quality. In general I’d say that there’s no such thing as “there’s only damaged girls on there” but rather a mix of everything. Attention whores, regular girls, hipsters, girls trying to find a boyfriend, pretty much anything across the board. Pretty much anything that is true for girls in general will be true online as well, so most of the time you’ll still have to put in the work.

Tinder is, in my now limited knowledge, still the best, especially if you don’t know Russian. I briefly installed it on a hangover Sunday a few weeks ago but was disappointed by how bad the quality is and deleted it again fast. 

Badoo and Mamba I barely ever used so I can’t comment a whole lot on them. I think it’s more “Russian” in the sense that English skills might be lower there and generally the girls are probably less-travelled and so forth. Quality seemed ok and I’ve heard of locals pulling girls from there for easy sex but I just could never be bothered to put in the effort.

Any other apps are not really a thing here. I tried the raunchy version of Tinder but it’s barely used by anyone. Bumble and that other app where you have to meet first are also not that widespread. 

Instagram is a BIG thing in Russia and I do not need to tell you how much Russian birds adore Instagram and taking photos of themselves. Not every girl will be a raging IG attention whore, far from it. A lot of them actually accept only people they know or have closed IGs. That said, they still have it and having a good IG makes your life definitely easier. Again, I can’t speak for stuff like pipelining but I nowadays let them add me on IG and work it from there. A good strategy if you have a strong IG is to go through the photos that are location-tagged with some of the clubs straight after the weekend. I get plenty of leads like that but most of the time don’t bother to really follow them up.

I barely use VK (Russian Facebook) so can’t speak for that either. Afaik it’s not really necessary and frankly, I’d consider it a bit dodgy to go looking for girls on there, especially if you have IG that is much more popular and easier to use.

Part 8 - Day Game

I’m not a big fan of day game, so I’m not gonna run you through what I think are the best ways of doing it. Also because there is no best way and all “techniques” and bullshit are just a big marketing smokeshow and a way of squaring the circle. Just go with the flow and you’ll be good.

That said, while day game per se is for me a poor use of my time, I have chatted up girls in all parts of the city. Since Moscow is huge and absolutely rammed with sexy girls, you can feel free to chat them up wherever you want. I’ve grabbed numbers on the metro, in the supermarket, on events, in shops, you name it. If you spot a sexy girl and feel the right energy, just go for it. I advise against “day game sessions”, not only because I find them lame but also because pickup culture isn’t new to Russia and you’re not the first guy to chat her up. I’ve spotted tons of Russians (and non-Russians) doing approaches and girls will sniff you out fast if you’re not genuine, especially in Moscow. With that in mind these are my three favourite spots during the day:

Gorky Park

My favourite spot in the city, especially in summer. Loads and loads of girls here. It’s also a huge recreational area that is connected to two other adjacent parks. In summer absolutely rammed with people and a fav among young Muscovites.

Kuznetsky Most Area

Tons of cafes here and almost no traffic, so people will be walking around and enjoying the sun in summer. Probably more a “let’s grab a coffee” angle that you’d play here.

Malaya Bronnaya ulitsa /Patriarshie Prudy

This is a very fancy and upscale part of town that has lots of cafes and bars as well. People living in this area are well-off, not the fake kind of well-off where they buy an iPhone and a Benz on credit but actually stuffed with money. So most girls you’ll see here are very sharky and you better you’re a game and a big bankroll ready in case you want to do damage. That said, you can spot genuine dime pieces in this area. 

Of course there’s always the option of roaming around malls or whatever the last hype is in the day game community. I’ve seen more than just a few stunners in Europeisky mall on Kievskaya. Again, simply a case of to each their own.

Moving on…

Part 9 - Nightlife

Now this is where it gets really interesting. Moscow has some of the finest nightlife (for MEN) in the world. Upsides include:

- No closing hours
- Most clubs don’t charge cover fee
- Bottle service is stupidly cheap (starts from 650$ min spend for 6 people at high-end clubs, way cheaper in others)
- Generally cheaper than other top tier cities
- Women are sexy as fuck
- You can go pretty much 24hours straight if you do nightclub, afterhours club, strip club
- You get to touch at the strip club (and you can fuck ‘em for money if that’s your thing)
- You can pull 

There’s some negatives as well though:

- Atmosphere is often quite poor, especially at the high-end places
- Sunday to Wednesday more dead than alive
- Girls will often throw on a huge show first before you get to swoop them…alcohol is the only way to speed things up (or other substances)
- Service culture is non-existent and staff are often incompetent
- Less variety in girls: no big deal if you like the slim model type, just warning you
- Music often sucks

Overall the positives by far outweigh the negatives for me and there are not a lot of weekends where I manage to stay in. Fear of missing out is just too strong. Below is a breakdown of nightlife venues according to type, rather than area. Makes more sense this way since chances are you will cab it a few times the same night anyway.

High-end spots


THE poshest place in Moscow at the moment. More of a restaurant than a club really but that is unfortunately often the case in Moscow. They have a thing for turning restaurants into clubs. Anyways, gents are on the older side but you’ll see drop-dead gorgeous women here. Fairly expensive with cocktails at 20 bucks apiece (not even good). Atmosphere is so-so, they always have some Russian pop singer coming on at 2 and after 3am the party is mostly over. If you speak in English girls might become interested and you can bounce them to another place. Generally not high-energy enough for me though. Very poor choice for bottle service because it’s significantly more expensive than any other place and not worth the money.

Duran Bar:

Better vibe here, it’s sort of a three-part venue. First part is an open bar with plenty of seating, second is another bar with a tiny dancefloor and tables for bottle service. Best for swooping is the outside terrace where people go to smoke. Generally good electronic music here and plenty of stunners. A good chunk of them are on the older side though (25+). Bit tricky for swooping because a lot of the girls are sharky and it starts emptying out after 4am. Try bouncing your girl(s) to another venue from here, no girl that wants to fuck ends her night here. They also have another room tucked away inside next to the bathrooms (with Russian music).


The Thursday hotspot. Don’t like their interior because it is rammed with tables and you barely can move and dance but that’s Moscow for you. They do have a nice outside area though and a bar to chat up the women which are not occupied by table shenanigans. Lots of hotties here but not easy for swooping because there’s a lot of distractions and very little space to separate. 

Artel Bessonitsa:

Started warming up to this place more and more recently. Generally similar vibe to Duran Bar but slightly younger crowd and better music imo. Also a tad cheaper and their parties go until 7am in the morning (in summer at least). In general a lot of similarities with the closed Krysha Mira because the same promo/DJ team is working the club. Girls here are hot and come to party but it’s still the “look at me” crowd so you need to find a few that are down for action (=want to/have already had booze or coke). In winter they close the terrace part and I think the parties are not quite as good but I’ll be digging into it.


Another restaurant-turned-club. Very easy to enter though and prices are comparably low. More of an option to start the night and bounce at 2am-3am. Plenty of seriously attractive girls but not high-energy enough to swoop right then and there. Bounce ‘em with you if they’re cool or grab their contact.  Good electronic music here too.

Buddha Bar:

Not a fan of it at all. Spread out over two floors and with really nice interior but not the right vibe for swooping girls. Most people here will be sitting down or looking at the dance shows/go-go’s or whatever the heck they just have on. Dancefloor is tiny but still often abandoned. Girls here are very attractive but often not alone or not really down for it. Better to hit up Valenok just across the road.


An afterhours spot not far away from Duran. Never been since it is supposedly an invitation-only thing that is very hard to get in to. My contact says with a table no problem though, so I’ll have to check it out sooner or later. Heard it’s full of drugs and attractive women, pretty much what I saw on IG as well. Sounds like a good combo for swooping.

The “regular”/party spots: these are the venues which aren’t high-end but somewhere in the middle, some posher, some less. Typically they feature more foreigners as well, especially the first few.


Probably the best combo in terms of quality of girls and ease of swooping. Right next to Bessonitsa, girls are a bit younger here but most come to party. No outright stunners but a very good selection of 7s and 8s. They have two areas as well, one with more electronic music and elaborate shows with nude models, the other one has just regular club music. Also one of the best clubs for bottle service because you can create more physical separation here. High energy.


Very close to Duran Bar and a good amount of people migrate from the former after 3am. Like a high-end, better version of Coyote Ugly (there’s also an actual Coyote Ugly). Good energy in here and one of the most infamous hookup places in town. Used to be one of my go-to spots but nowadays the quality doesn’t do it for me anymore. Still plenty of cute girls here and people get shitfaced so odds of pulling are decent. Music is good if you come the first time but becomes very repetitive after that because they put on all kinds of styles and genres and never change their playlist. Average age about 25 I’d say.


Used to be one of the best clubs in the city but nowadays it’s a teenager shitshow. They changed their concept from a hard door to being super soft, so plenty of young people in groups now. Big club with nice interior (think: palms and pools inside) but management fucked it up and almost all people >23 agree. Generally you can pull here but for my personal taste too many kids with shitty attitudes, poor outfits and too many groups: Plenty of tourists here as well. Music is still decent, they do nice mashup mixes in here. Generally high energy as well.

Rolling Stone:

Right next to Gipsy, pretty much the same concept only with an even younger crowd. People do get smashed here but it feels more like your graduation party than a proper nightclub. If you dress sharp like I do, you’ll feel out of place. Definitely good for younger cats but don’t bother if you’re 25+. I got an acquaintance who loves it there and he’s 23.

Klava Bar:

In the posh area on Malaya Bronnaya Ulitsa. A fav of the older Moscow crowd, tiny bar that is always rammed with people. You’ll like it if it’s your type of crowd (around 30, somewhat posh) and you don’t mind the terrible music and how crowded it is. Have a friend who’s friends with staff there but I generally hate it. You can pull here but you’ll again probably need to bounce your girls to another place.

Lookin Rooms:
Cheap version of Icon. Used to be got some time before I arrived here but now it’s kind of floating around in no man’s land. Have actually wondered why it is still open. Younger crowd here but not very attractive and funnily not even down for action. Their drinks are cheap though and you can get shitfaced here if you dig that. Actually a shame because they are in a very central location.

Chateau de Fantomas:

Only been once there a couple of weeks ago. For some reason I never knew of its existence though it is right next to Gipsy and has been around for ages. Very nice rooftop spot but unfortunately a bit hipsterish, which I don’t dig so much. I wonder whether it is happening in winter but I’ll be back to check it out because it was a bit too empty on that particular evening. They had good electronic music. 

Rock n Roll Bar:

Somewhere on the edge between a normal place and more of a “rougher” place. Rock-themed bar that attracts loads of people on the weekend and is opened seven days a week. Good, high energy here and cheap prices. Girls are not as stunning as in other places but overall still cute and out to be swooped. Was the first place where I banged a girl in a club toilet in Moscow Big Grin


Crossover between a bar and a club with a 60s American motel theme. Cool interior and chicks love it for photos on IG. Generally a bit lower energy and can be hit and miss but if it’s good, you can swoop from there. Closed at the moment, I think they will re-open but I’m not sure. Also close to Valenok and Buddha so you can visit all three in one go.

Mummiy Troll:

Just hit that one up last week for the first time. Seemed like a bit of a lower-energy version of Jagger. Had a few cute girls but wasn’t really that popping and I was not waiting it out, so the judges are still out on this.


Was supposedly great some time but I find it just terrible. In summer they pack their terrace with tables, so it turns pretty much into a restaurant. In winter it is actually the same, only inside. Have never swooped here and never even received good receptions, so I don’t rate this place at all.

Rose Bar:

Yet another place with too many chairs and too little energy. Been only once or twice, I think they have no door policy at all. Bit on the posher, older end as far as I could tell.


Infamous club that used to be amazing in the 90s (or so they say). Now it’s a P4P place and the girls aren’t even that good. Been only a few times for networking events and never actually out. Even for P4P I’d take a regular strip club or the internet over the offer there.


An older club that has been around forever and serves two niches: Black Music on Wednesdays and Sundays and afterparties from Thursdays to Saturdays. Pretty much the only place with Black Music in Moscow and one of the few where you’ll see Black people. Can be good fun, haven’t been there a ton but it draws the usual afterhours crowd on these days and plenty of hotties on the others as well. Swooping is definitely possible here.


Restaurant-ish place with music but without a real dancefloor if I remember correctly. Women were too old for my taste there since most people were 30+. Was very full the only time I came but quality was not so impressive.

Casa Agave:

Mexican themed restaurant/bar that plays Latino music but also often annoying reggeaton. Girls are on the older end and plenty of “brown people” visit here (so anything from real Latinos over Africans to Caucasus). Think you can swoop here if it’s your style and your niche, just not really my thing.

Bar BQ

The one on Trubnaya is dead and a non-starter, the other one I've only been to on weekdays and it seemed very tame. Some guys said they rate it, so I can't really judge yet either way.

Baga Bar:

It’s been ages since I’ve been but if memory serves right, it’s similar to Mummiy Troll, so kind of like a poorer version of Jagger. A bit older crowd as well and with less energy and more lighting. Probably the reason why I haven’t been back.


A Moscow institution that draws in a lot of foreigners as well. Electro club that is stupidly cheap and works 7 days a week. Probably the most “European” club in Moscow. Haven’t been there in forever, you can swoop but it’s more of a European atmosphere instead of the real Russian dynamic that probably a lot of guys are looking for in Moscow.

The “rougher” places: these are your cheap options, the kind of places that students, suburban Muscovites and “real Russians” visit.

Standard Bar:

Right next to Propaganda. Big bar with few people so not a lot to say about it. Think it was overpriced. Dip in if you don’t like Propaganda.

Bourbon Street:

The neighbor to the other side. It’s a pub and not a nightclub. Definitely overpriced. Actually only included it because I once almost pulled a 6 here to fuck her in the alley but then slipped and fell on my face. Got a nice scar above my eyebrow ever since. Never got the notch and never been back either.

Coyote Ugly:

I guess most people will know what this bar is about. Staff dances on the table, some of the female guests as well. Drinks are cheap and most people get shitfaced in here. Because it’s Moscow you’ll still have cute girls and as far as I’ve heard pulling isn’t all that difficult in here. Just not my type of scene.

Crazy Daisy:

Three bars with the same name. They do cheap drinks and the bar dancing thing too. Actually almost no difference to Coyote Ugly. Work 7 days a week so always an option as last resort.

Dream bar

Bar-ish place with a dancefloor that can be good for predrinks if you’re working with a tight budget. Usually packs the occasional cutie but nothing to write home about really.

Cuba Libre Bar:

Same like the above. For some reason the daygame squad that raids Moscow sometimes seems to like it but it is not my style. Don’t bring anything above a cute student here cause you’ll give off the wrong vibe.

Café Didu:

Same like the above with the only difference that they have nice decoration made out of Plasticine (is that how you call it?) that you can contribute too if you like. Actually don’t even have a dancefloor but they have cute go-go girls.

Tema Bar:

Must’ve been good some time before 2014 because it was recommended to me back then and it was pretty dead. Haven’t been in two years and wonder how they’re still working. Other than that, same like the three above.

Let’s rock bar:

Sort of the same like the above, only with a rock twist. If that’s your music then I strongly recommend Rock n Roll Bar, which is better in every single aspect.


Ladies night on Wednesdays here, which means you’ll get plenty of students and teenagers that are drinking for free. Totally outsized place but good for isolation if you want to drag away a girl from the dancefloor. On all other days I’d probably avoid because it is not all that much cheaper and the crowd is on the younger end here.


Expat sanctuary that has some kind of special deal every night of the week. Always packs a few people and some half-cute girls. No fan of the poor music or the watered down drinks there but it’s on the shortlist for off-nights.

Afterhours spots: after 4am-5am people start leaving the clubs and either bounce home or go to afterhours spots. I already mentioned Kvartira and Garage, here’s some more.


Most popular afterhours place nowadays. Attracts mainstream people as well as those who didn’t know when to stop their nightclub days. Plenty of hot girls here and very hot go-go’s. Pulling is definitely possible here but you’ll want to either bring the girls with you or find some that are high on booze/coke/balloons (big thing in Moscow nowadays). Lasts until 10am or 12am, I think the latest I’ve ever been was 9am.


Relatively recently opened afterhours spot right next to Miks. It’s run by the same people and hence the club is pretty much exactly the same. They try to play an “Eyes Wide Shut” angle and create kind of a kinky atmosphere, however I found it to be thoroughly unimpressive. Came very late though when there were no more go-go’s and the club was mostly empty so I’ll have to try again. Seemed to have a few stunners that tagged themselves on IG.


Actually my favourite afterhours spot because they have the best electronic music. Most people are high off their asses and great vibe because it’s not as dark as in most other afterhours spots. They have two areas, one more for chatting at the bar, the other one for dancing and spacing out. Not sure how good it is for pulling because I was pretty much hammered every time I went. More of an underground-ish place but for rich people because their prices are high (=more attractive girls).


Only went once here on a Sunday out of all days. Seemed like a smaller, poor man’s version of Miks. My roommate at that time fucked some skank on the toilet, ha. I think it’s pretty buzzing on Fridays and Saturdays with your regular afterhours crowd.

There was another one we hit up one time on Mayakovskaya. I think it was a gay spot though and I can’t remember the name of it haha.

Bars: lastly I wanna cover a few spots that are more bars than clubs although you could probably say that about a bunch of places that I already mentioned. The distinction is often very hard to make in Moscow.


Big hipster bar in front of the Christ-the-Saviour church. They have the most beautiful summer terrace with great views. Good place for pre-party because it attracts a good mixture of people between hipsters and regular cute girls.


Centrally located bar that is rammed on weekends. Decent spot to bring girls and start the night with them there. Think dimmed lights and electronic music.


Tucked away in a Chinese restaurant’s basement. Very similar to Ugolek. I still haven’t figured out whether it is better to come early or late here. Afaik some real power players also hang out there from time to time and apparently they also have a private section. Generally better than Ugolek for chatting up people at the bar.


Slightly out of the center. Great interior and a high-end place with regular prices. On weekends plenty of hotties start their nights here. It used to be better though and might get hit even more by the closure of Soho which was very closeby.


Good dating spot and good for chatting up girls on the bar or the slightly lame dancefloor. Bit older crowd in here if memory serves correctly.

Timeout Bar:

Nicely located on the top of Hotel Peking in the city center. However, the two times I was there it was more empty than full. Supposedly it’s good in summer when the weather is great but then again, you have a dozen places which are better in that case.


Located around Miks, next to Hotel Ukraine. Been only twice, once it was dead, the other time full with hotties at tables with other dudes. So the judges are still out on it. They seemed to have good music though.

Bamboo Bar:

Totally inconvenient to reach because it’s where the skyscrapers in Moscow City are. That’s probably why it was so dead. It had very nice interior and it’s probably a good place to bring a high-end date and have some privacy but not for an actual night out. 

Places I haven’t covered:

The other datasheet mentioned a few places that I haven’t been to like Turandot, Kalina Bar, O2 Bar, Mercedes Bar… I could go on and on. Most of these places are to my knowledge either restaurants, which I don’t visit, or high-end bars, which might be worth checking out but from what I’ve heard through friends and contacts are not all that great.

Another spot is Soho Country Club, which is sort of a daytime version of the now closed Soho club and operates in summer. They have a pool where tons of hotties and rich Russian baller dudes hang out. Also proper face control at the entrance. It’s quite a bit out of the center, so make sure you get in, otherwise you’ll be kicking yourself for wasting so much time and energy to get there. Needless to say that you better have a damn good angle and VERY sharp game (+bankroll) if you wanna do any damage there. You’ll get laughed out of the establishment if you try to pull on game alone there.


That is really it. I haven't covered stuff like how to actually talk to and swoop Russians cause this is a whole topic in itself and warrants a completely new discussion. 

I also launched a site that I plan to extend to a full-time business. It revolves around Moscow nightlife for the moment but most probably I will also branch it out into the topic of Russian girls, since this seems like a formidable niche for a competent gent like me Wink I'm happy to answer questions, however I'm not sure how you guys handle this here. This post is first and foremost supposed to add value and not to promote myself. In case you are interested, you can find it here. If that's not ok, the link can of course be deleted.
(This post was last modified: 09-26-2017, 11:51 PM by icrus.)
09-23-2017, 07:24 PM
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nomadphilippines Offline

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RE: The MASSIVE Moscow Datasheet 2017
nice thanks
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09-24-2017, 01:52 PM
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Zolo Offline
El Capitan

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RE: The MASSIVE Moscow Datasheet 2017
Best Datasheet of the year.
The Blog: Wink
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Twitter: @naughtynomad
12-01-2017, 09:35 PM
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icrus Offline

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RE: The MASSIVE Moscow Datasheet 2017
Thanks boss. As soon as I have some material on girls on my site, I'd gladly write a concise, clean version of that datasheet for your site.
12-09-2017, 06:58 PM
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