Brief Overview of the City
Metropolis. Modern city with all the amenities. Bad reputation about being dangerous from the past, but stick to the nice areas and the police has a good presence. A lot of money coming through the city, and an effort to change its reputation, considerable effort made to build up the infrastructure and attract more foriegn money. Modern metro system, metered taxis, top tier malls, nice restaurants. Perfect climate all year-round about 25 celsius and partly cloudy at all times, (75 farenheit). I was only planning on staying about 2 weeks, stayed almost 6 weeks. Plenty of activities to keep busy, plenty of women...
The lighter skinned/slightly tanned brunette look is my preference (in the world), and this appeared to be the international epi-centre of attractive women as such. They have good bodies naturally and most seem to stay in some sort of shape, though there are certainly stunners who have had surgeon enhanced procedures.
Their attitudes are something else. People from other areas of Colombia refer to Paisa's as being easy, and I can't disagree, but their is also the increasing presence of bitch shields and a general stuck-up'ness. And of course the cunning games they play. Highly flaky and inconsistent with times.
They are really into status, and money. With all the money in the city, any significantly attractive women will have beta orbiters lined up to provide them with food, drinks and gifts. Being a foreigner passing through, you will always be second choice to 'Juan Pablo' from the barrio, unless you have something really extrodinary to offer. They wouldn't want to upset the consistent sponsor taking them to 'Comida Rapida' twice or thrice a week just to go to a discoteca 1 or 2 times with a gringo.
Because the city is so large, just being from another country is not really an automatic chick magnet, there are plenty of other foreign guys there. None of the girls really speak English (though its more common then in smaller cities), you might get lucky and find one who takes lessons on the weekends or in Uni, but Spanish is usually necessary.
The females here are very possessive too. Despite the fact that they have a few guys hitting them up, and are at various stages of progress (maybe only beta providers, maybe boyfriend of the month), they will make accusations (warranted or not) and cause ruckus if you even look at another girl, much less are talking to one. Hyposcrisy.
"You don't bang 100% of the girls you don't approach" - Mixx (via Wayne Gretzky)
The key to Antioquia is to be opportunistic. You have to catch the girls at the right time, and offer them a promising option. Because they are used to the local betas who do everything they can, and put up with all their nonsense in hopes of hooking up with them, you have to be different and throw them off. Don't accept their nonsense, and call them out on it.
Be direct, if you see a girl you are interested in, approach. Make small talk and ask for their number. There is less then a handful of times in 6 weeks that I approached and didn't make progress, and anytime I have a few minutes of conversation, I was never turned down for their number. It didn't always lead to meeting up with them later though. I didn't notice a significant difference in success or failure between telling them I would call them later, or asking when they are free to chat. Though calling I would say is more preferential, with the notorious flake rate, texting is quite impersonable. Especially if you have only just met a girl, make more of an impression with a phone call. (Another reason why Spanish is important).
The best chances of making progress is day-game. Anywhere, anytime. Their is a cultural suspicion of talking to strangers, but at least during the day they won't be freaked out. Malls are probably ideal, women feel the most at home and comfortable, its public enough so they feel safe, but you can also isolate them fairly easily.
Once you get the girls out on a date, they usually don't put up much resistence. Escalate intelligently. You might not score on the first night, but the 2nd time should yield results, theoretically it may take to the third time, though if you are only town for a week or two, you don't have time for that. So use discretion after the first time if you don't succeed, about what the body language is saying. If you aren't kissing them within the first hour or two, might be time to get some Jay-Z, "On to the next one" playing on your iPod.
The most important thing to remember, there is always another girl. Don't get hung-up on one. If the river of babylon is running dry, just take a day or two to replenish the supplies.
The world-reknowned hotspot. However any girl worth talking too on the street will almost certainly be waiting for designated beta to pay for her night (or she will be in the group). Given the social circles are so tight-knit, it will be difficult to break into their group, unless you are ready to splash some serious cash, especially given its the richest part of town. If you read the situation, and find out which girls in the group are not the targets of the man with the money, you might be able to make progress.
You can set-up base camp at the actual park itself early in the night and see what groups you can encounter. Girls alone are always waiting for their sponsors, but you might be able to swoop a number real quick before her boyfriend with the Portugese soccer star hair-cut, nike shox and graphic t-shirt comes around (possibly wearing a scarf in 75F).
A lot of the time, girls will be in groups of 3, and one will inevitably be the bowling-ball/grenade. If you ever encounter a pair, one will inevitably be a horrid creature, and if they are two attractive girls, they are likely pros ("I am going to model in the Dominican Republic for two weeks").
As the night progresses, walk around the side streets and see if you can find anything. It is a very dense are with a lot of places, you can also look into most places from the street and see if there is anything worth your while to enter.
Carrera 70/Calle 33
Both streets are similar, in the Laureles area (middle class). Discoteca's that open onto the sidewalk. I found this area had less large groups, and more even ratios. Finding places with targets is pretty tough, though Calle 33 might be slightly more potential.
This is probably the only public area with better options during the night then in the day. Towards the North in Bello, next to last metro station Niquia. A lot of girls come here to exercise, practice with their team (of whatever sport), or hangout at night/walk their dog. Lots of sports facilities, track, roller-blade rentals, public space. I came here at night and got a few numbers and there were options, whereas when I returned a few weeks later during the day, it was pretty empty.
There is similar smaller park in Belen, south of Laureles, directly north of Olaya Herrera Airport (the regional airport in the city).
Day Game Locations
Day-game is key. Any girl, any time, any place. Almost all of my successes were initiated during day-game.
Santa Fe Mall:
Sleek, modern, upscale mall in El Poblado. You can find girls here shopping by themselves, if you have a wingman there is chance you can encounter a pair of nice looking girls. Find the food court on the top level, or a girl sitting down playing with her phone (though not talking on it) on the various couches for people sit and start talking to them. Asking for directions or where a certain shop was, seemed innocent enough to get them talking and judge their reposnse body language to my presence.
Oviedo mall across the street is similar, but I found it was too small and cramped.
El Tesoro mall is a bit further into the hills, but bigger and even nicer then Santa Fe.
A captive audience are girls at work. Retail shops, restaurants/cafes, and especially super markets. The dynamic is slightly different because it will start off a lot of times as them opening you, for business purposes. Don't be a clown and be agressive from the start and make them feel uncomfortable, also be cognizant of if their bosses are watching and how many other customers are in the direct vicinity. But you will have them talking, and again, after a few mins of having them giggling and getting to know them, ask for their number and split (don't linger, they are at work, make yourself scarce).
The girls that are working store-fronts are always going to be pre-scanned for attractiveness to give the company/store a good look. If they are young, they are likely not in University, and a lower status/class, if they are in the late 20s, they are probably single-mothers. Either way, their long-term prospects are not glowing, it only depends if they have figured it out or not, and want to take up the opportunity of a foreign guy with what they see as provider potential.
I found the gold mine with the highest density is the super markets, there is promotional girls at every aisle. Helping you find products or giving you samples. If you plan on being in the area for longer-term (more then a week), you don't necessarily have to go for the kill right away, at least not for all of them, plant some seeds to come back and harvest. For example, smile at a girl, maybe say hi, ask where such and such a product is. Then come back a few days later and get the number. Shopping like a local will take away the tourist stigma. The further outside the core of Poblado, the more attention you will get (Envigado, Bello, Itagui, all with Shopping centres next to Metro stations)
Large sports complex, metro station "Estadio", you can find facilities for almost any sport that is played in Colombia, thus there are young fit females practicing these sports during the day. Opposed to Parque Ospina, this place shuts down a bit at night or its only guys. Not as much of a gathering point for the evening. I found hanging around the volleyball (indoor, beach courts were usually quiet) and gymnastics building to have the best quality. After practice the girls might hang around and get a drink or sandwich from the stalls selling replenishments there, or they will be walking in the direction of the metro station. Not much attractive potential at the handball court, and too many dudes at the basketball stadium. The track and field facility, and swimming complex also has potential. The only thing that does pick up a little during the evening, when the weather cools down and people get off work, joggers around the big soccer stadium.
The down-side of this area is the inconsistency. The posted schedules are kind of vague, just show up whenever and hope for the best, there are times where there is little activity. It was short walking distance from where I was staying so it wasn't that big of a deal if it was a down time.
Another place with a captive audience is the Metro trains or stations. During the day between rush hours, there is enough people on their to find targets, however when 4pm rolls around, it becomes a jungle. Girls become focused on leaving work and getting home, and there is so many people around they are afraid of looking like a skank if someone they might know sees them. It was a bit tough to find anything that came to fruition, but with the lack of physical effort required, im not giving up on it yet.
Jardin Botanico (Botanical Gardens) is a tranquil place to take a girl during the day, in the centre of town near Metro Station Universidad (subsequently next to Univeristy of Antioquia, but that place is on lockdown, not like Uni's in NA/Europe where you can just wander anywhere you please). Across the road is also Parque de los Deseos which is a nice place to chill during the day and early evening, but its really only couples there. Parque Explora and Planetarium is right there too, but those cost money (a few dollars, but the other places are free).
Other touristy things to do like Museums and old buildings.
If you are into soccer, Nacional matches are an amazing experience. Be careful outside the stadium though.
I stayed near Estadio, a number of decent hotels. I was the majority of the time at Hotel Portico, on the east side of Carrera 70, less then a half KM south of the Metro station Estadio. $30/night, clean, safe, recently renovated. TV and Air Conditioing, free breakfast. Decent and safe area, a few other hotels around there too.
Later I stayed a week in Poblado, at Acqua Express ($70/night), it was only slightly better, but the location was far superior. 10 mins walk to Parque Lleras so obviously better logistics for girls in Poblado and night game. Since I wasn't really relying on night game, it wasn't that much of a problem for me to stay at the more economical Estadio area. Though the money obsessed girls will certainly look at your different if you tell them you are staying in Poblado, and is in more inline with their fantasy of a rich gringo. In the future I will probably find a place in Poblado, but as an introduction to the city, it was nice to be in a more locals oriented place and Estadio was more central to the city and accesible to the metro line.
With that said, for a 1-2 week stay, if you are aiming for the top tier, a stylish place in Poblado is probably the best way to go. I liked the flexibility I had where I was, but if I had a set schedule, like the last week, its good to stay near Parque Lleras etc.
Don't stay at a hostel, that is anti-game. $30 in Estadio+$5 cab fare+$10 cab fare parting gift is a better option then $45 at a hostel in Poblado where hippy white guys are practicing muy thai alone on the balcony of the restaurany while playing Kanye West.
Taxi's are metered (cheap) and safe. In the night, its probably recommended to call and order one, but I never had an issue the times I hailed one from the street.
The metro system is amazing, $1 for a ride, and goes to just about any area you need. It is about the $3 minimum (5000 pesos) from Poblado station to Parque Lleras, worth it considering its a complete uphill walk.
From the airport, Taxi will be a standard 57000 pesos, but from the city to the airport, get a business card for the white sedans, it will only be 47000 pesos (regular yellow cabs will be 57000). If you are coming from Bogota, you can fly Satena to Olaya Herrera airport, which puts you in the city centre. The flight might be 60 minutes versus 40 minutes, on a propeller plane. But you might save money on the flight, and certainly taxi.
About Me: 6'2, white, good hair-cut, decent shape, dressed somewhat stylish (jeans/khakis, golf shirt or button-up, non-running shoes)
I enjoyed myself in the city, hence my extended stay. With consistent day-game, there will always be options. Though it should be noted, the later in the week it gets, the more likely a girl will go out with you. Saturday is primetime, if a girl is going out with on a Saturday, she is giving you the green light, that is top time slot of the week. They go all out on Saturday, and then reset on Sunday/Monday and slowly build up from there. The later in the week it is, the better your chances are. As with the culture, a big sheep mentality, little induvidualism, everyone acts the same.
One thing that didn't work, which I tried a few times (only on the more average looking girls for research purposes), was giving girls my number unsolicited. As in, establishing eye-contact, smiling, getting them giggly and intrigued. Then writing down my number on a napkin, handing it to them and walking away. Their reaction seemed positive, however in about a half-dozen attempts, not a single one ever contacted me. I probably could have tried more occasions to get a better idea, but I rather just stick to things that work.
Everytime things didn't work out with a girl, I found one hotter. My experiences were being honed in how to deal with them, and my spanish was getting better. I just kept 'failing' upwards.
My usual opener was pretending to be somewhat of a lost foreigner (despite knowing where I was and where I wanted to go at just about all times), after they directed me where I needed to go I asked if they spoke english or what they were doing and it proceeded from there.
After such a time, the local supermarket was not secure. I had two girls working there that in the rotation. Since I needed to go there for real reasons, supplies, food, bank etc. it had the potential to become problematic. Especially considering how gossipy and possessive the lizards are. I studied the floor plan of the place, and texted them before going to see who was working where. Probably more effort then I really needed to put in, but I like to keep things calm and stable. The one day another girl working at a local cafe suggested we go there for lunch, I laughed pretty hard, and she didn't know why.
When taking a girl out, there was little induvidualism or personality, they all seemed to be the same. No significant interests that differed. They liked listening to the same local music, which was essentially the same two songs with different lyrics. At the beginning I would meet up for a girl, and for example it would go like this (if it was a weeknight)
*Are you hungry? Want to get something to eat?
- No I just ate at home before I left
*Ok, want to go to the discoteca and get some drinks and dancing?
- I don't drink/I have to work tomorrow
*We can go to my hotel and hang out?
- No, not yet. I don't know you etc.
Considering the lack of other evening activities that really limits the options. It is not a city where you can wander around and find something to do after dark. Essentially I learned not to give them the option, though I was initially a bit timid not knowing the city or much of the language. After a short time "Want to get something to eat?" became "Im hungry, I heard this restaurant was good, lets go." Lead them and they will follow.
One time I took a girl out for pizza, she ordered a soda, and I a bottle of water. When the drinks came, she took my bottle, opened the plastic seal, took off the cap, poured it into the glass, inserted the straw and handed it to me with a smile...I was absolutely amazed that kind of thing was normal. Imagine suggesting to a girl of Toronto that this kind of behaviour existed in the world...
When you are spending time with them, there behaviour is superior to North American women, for the short periods. Though over the long-term, their games and lies really build up.
Astutas, trampas, jugas
"I don't know if I should be offended that they are lying to me, or that they actually think I am stupid enough to believe their lie." - Mixx
The games, lies, and cunning cheats deserves its own section. I didn't let it get to me, but at least they could try to entertain me and be clever. Just laugh and find a hotter chick. While girls in North America certainly play games as well, they are a bit more stable, and prefer not to have to lie because it will reflect poorly upon them, in Colombia its generally accepted. A girl in North America will give the solid "I have a boyfriend" to put guys on hold, Colombianas will come up with the most elaborate tales of nonsense.
"No puedo" -
When you try to make plans with a girl, and this is her response, you ask "porque?" (why?) and she repeats "No puedo" (I can't). It means she has plans with her local flavour of the month, but she doesn't want to tell you that outright and scare you off.
If you have already been out with her, and when making plans she says "No se" (I don't know), she enjoyed herself with you the first time, and if you give her an appealing option for the night, she will go out with you, but her non-committal response gives her an out if her other plans are better for her, or if she has none, but thinks there is potential for something better by waiting.
27x2 = 18x3
I found a girl that also liked football, she was a pretty big fan. One weekend the local rivals had a match, Nacional vs. Independiente. It came to be that we would go together in a few days, can't remember who suggested it, but I was usually at every match anyway so I would have invited her. She was excited about going as she came from a poorer area and didn't get the chance very often. She wanted to sit in crazy section because it was the most fun (and granted it really was), I had no problem with that, was interested in the experience. Her bestfriends brother, or cousins boyfriend or whatever this person was with quotes around whatever she told me he was, was going to arrange tickets as he was at every match. Seemed reasonable, she made a call to find out how much it was, 27000 pesos each, or 54000 pesos for the pair. Seemed a bit high for the cheap section, but since it was the big match, I know what sometimes tickets go up in price and are sold out. I had seen her a few times before so I trusted she wasn't going to take the money and run (not really worth it over such a small amount).
The day of the match came, and she is waiting at the train station with the guy. Things seem fine, but she is not quite as warm with the body language, kisses not as passionate etc. which got worse throughout the match. As the guy gives us the tickets, I notice the seat numbers are all in order, they were bought together...then the price...18000 pesos.
I am not math genius, but I can calculate simple two digit numbers a few times...3 tickets multiplied by 18000 is equal to 54000. I thought I would ask to see what she would say, give her a chance to come clean, I casually mentioned that I thought it was 27000...she got a bit flustered and asked the guy what to say (she didn't realize I could understand more Spanish then I could speak), and they told me a tale of getting it from the black market, which would have been believable if that section was completely sold out and didnt have a few empty spaces in the corner, as well as the perfect math. I laughed and said ok. They probably think I believed them. I don't care about $10, had she asked to bring her whole family I probably would have said ok. A few weeks down the road she probably could have given me some sob story about a plumbing pipe being cracked, and needing $100 to repair, there is a chance I might have fallen for it. The lack of long-term forecasting and intution is laughable. I didn't see her after that day.
One week a girl takes an afternoon off work (which is extrmemly rare) to meet me because I was leaving town for a week (we had been out once before). We hung out the next weekend, at my hotel, great. The following Saturday I told her I had to come to her area for something, and I could see her after. She was excited that I could meet her friends etc., she had to work in the morning, but would be done around the same time I was free in the afternoon. I called her when I was done, and she said she was still working, but she could meet me in the evening again (Saturday night, primetime). A few hours later I ask for a status update, and her "grandma is sick". As Mixx said to me "So? Are you a doctor?". She didn't last long after that. I forgot to ask if the dog ate her homework too.
Another girl said she would be free one Saturday midday, she didn't answer my calls because "she fell asleep during the afternoon". Ok, but I called 8 hours ago, and I am sure she just isn't waking up now...
Come to the bar with me
One Friday night a girl I had brought back to my hotel previously hit me up asking if I wanted to come meet her at the bar. She was trying to be appealing like "come hang out with me and my friends" i.e. come pay for our drinks...Had I just landed I probably would have fallen for that, but I had spent some weeks in town by that time. I told her that I had 2 bottles of alcohol in my hotel room already, she was welcome come over, and even bring her friends (I said in a way to suggest hanging out as opposed to hooking up with all of them), I had more alcohol then they could drink. She wasn't interested in that. The next day I saw her at work, and it was her coworkers that were out the previous night, considerable drop in quality. Money saved.
If a girl does speak English, she will certainly take advantage of explaining plans or past events using the non-gender specific "friends" as opposed to Spanish where she would have to distinguish between male/female, amigo vs. amiga. They will even stop speaking Spanish, and say that sentence in English.
The Bottom Line
For short-term hunting, its a great place to meet a lot of attractive women with a little bit of Spanish capability. It is maybe not what it once was, but if you are willing to look beyond Parque Lleras, their is still options and talent available. This was only my rookie season, I plan to build on it upon my future returns (which can't come soon enough).
Our man here really showed me how to manouver in the city, I got first-hand evidence that he speaks the truth. I was a bit overwhelmed when I landed, and spoke very little Spanish. He took my under his wing and gave me a starting point. It was great to have someone of similar mindset to analyze and discuss events throughout the day. I found a number of game venues and tricks that I would not have otherwise been privy too on my own.
We did a lot of damage on the town winging each other, between a 6'2 gringo representing the North American dream and a Spanish-fluent veteran, we were quite the duo. Our method was similar to a blitzkrieg. I bombarded the lizards attention from above, and they were powerless to stop the ensuing ground attack. Never knew what hit them.
It was also important to have someone for social proof. One Friday evening we were both out with girls in seperate parts of town, he hit me up to meet him in Parque Lleras. A few rounds at the bar, and we provided each other with the social proof that made sealing the deal so much easier.
A special thanks for the alley-oop he gave me when he left. Provided me the number of a girl he didn't have time to meet-up with before he left, and told her I was going to call her in a few days. I did call her in a few days, and she was naked on my bed within 90 minutes of meeting. Perfect body. Single-mothers in their late-20s are not really a question of "if" on the first-date.
I got all the time in the world to destroy another destination with him in the future.
- 90 minutes from the city, take the highway north and loop east around the mountain
A city with potential, and we brought our antics to town. We graced this town with our presence on a Friday night. We started off walking up and down the main pedestrian shopping street. Over a mile long and emptied into the main city square which was centered around a big church. A few circuits up and down, we noticed a lot of teenage mothers pushing strollers...any girl in their 20s seemed to be with a school aged child.
A few laps around the city square, and we noticed a line starting to build in front of the church. Big plans on a friday night? There was potential in the line, but of course in a small town it would be difficult to strike up a legitimate conversation with someone when there neighbour was behind them watching like a hawk ready to text the Joy Luck club that 'Angela' is making enquiries at the passport office. The best course of action was to make ourselves as known as possible, and see where the chips fell. As the church line begin to form, we walked back and forth around the square speaking absolutely nonsense in English. Essentially just words and random sentences, speaking about nothing at all, just appearing as if we were having a serious or entertaining conversation. But the point was to get the attention of everyone, and if there was something appealing giving us attention, find an opening and make an approach. The key was, even though we grabbed the attention and interest with English, to make any sort of progress, you had to speak to the target in Spanish, because they certainly didn't know any English.
As the night progressed, we made our way to the area of bars. Met a few groups of girls, got numbers to met up later with some, other groups went nowhere and weren't of the attractice level to be acting important. Bounced around 2-3 places and finally settled on the hot spot of town. I think it was called "Mr. Coffee". I started talking to one girl in a group we met earlier, blonde flight attendant. And Mixx disappeared inside with another girl. I took the girl to another bar to seperate her from her friends, I bought her a beer, but this was early in my trip, and the lack of Spanish really hurt me. I could see it was going nowhere, we parted ways and I went back to the spot. It was getting late, and we couldn't find anything suitable so we left. In cities like this, verify girls are of legal drinking age (18 years old) to be on the safe side and avoid any potential trouble.
- An hour north of the city
We ventured here on a Sunday early-evening, typically known as the family day, with the thought that there might be a lot of lizards hanging around the city centre. Walked around the main city square area, centered around a church of course (identical to Marinilla), but the options were limited. Only girls worth talking to were with dudes. Lots of families. Though mothers seemed interested in peacocking their daughters for our consideration. I announced to the city that if I married one of their daughters, they might think they won the lottery, but I was going to buy a flat in town and crush their dreams. I said it in English, so I don't think anyone understood. Nothing really going on in that town.