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The Jewish Thread
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007 Game Offline
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Post: #1
The Jewish Thread
OK, lets have it... who is Jewish around here?

First, happy Hanukkah....

Second - there's a book I want to recommend to you which will explain to you why you're fucked up because of your crazy Jewish mother. If you haven't read it yet - you must, trust me:

http://www.amazon.com/Portnoys-Complaint...0679756450

This book literally changed my life. Here are a few quotes to start you off:

“My God! The English language is a form of communication! Conversation isn't just crossfire where you shoot and get shot at! Where you've got to duck for your life and aim to kill! Words aren't only bombs and bullets —no, they're little gifts, containing meanings!”

“I am marked like a road map from head to toe with my repressions. You can travel the length and breadth of my body over superhighways of shame and inhibition and fear.”

"“The legend engraved on the face of the Jewish nickel– on the body of every Jewish child!– not IN GOD WE TRUST, but SOMEDAY YOU'LL BE A PARENT AND YOU'LL KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE.”

"Portnoy's Complaint n. [after Alexander Portnoy (1933- )] A disorder in which strongly-felt ethical and altruistic impulses are perpetually warring with extreme sexual longings, often of a perverse nature. Spielvogel says: 'Acts of exhibitionism, voyeurism, fetishism, auto-eroticism and oral coitus are plentiful; as a consequence of the patient's "morality," however, neither fantasy nor act issues in genuine sexual gratification, but rather in overriding feelings of shame and the dread of retribution, particularly in the form of castration.' (Spielvogel, O. "The Puzzled Penis," Internationale Zeitschrift für Psychoanalyse, Vol. XXIV, p. 909.) It is believed by Spielvogel that many of the symptoms can be traced to the bonds obtaining in the mother-child relationship."

Good review from Amazon:

"After reading PORTNOY'S COMPLAINT, I find myself scrambling to recall whether I have ever read another American novel anywhere near as hysterically funny. Maybe Tom Robbins's SKINNY LEGS AND ALL is in the same ballpark (and I've yet to read CATCH-22) but Roth simply had my head spinning while I read this book. My jaw is still on the floor, in fact.
Esoterically, this book is one long rant about the joys and (more heavily) the anguishes of growing up Jewish in America in the forties and fifties. It's 1966 and successful civil servant Alexander Portnoy is on the psychiatrist's couch trying to get out all his Oedipal, inferiority, and sexual fetish complexes.

That infamous masturbation scene in the movie AMERICAN PIE? A direct descendent of Mrs. Portnoy's piece of liver!

More deeply, if you can stand it, this book seriously examines the struggle of growing up with smothering parents: Alex's both put him on a pedestal and criticize everything he does. He's unmarried at thirty-three in part because of all the neuroses his parents have bestowed in him--so why doesn't he get married and have children already? Alex lets us know in pornographic detail why. Speaking of pornographic detail, Alex spends plenty of time on his ultimately doomed affairs with (mostly Protestant) women. Most of his anger at growing up Jewish in a Christian-dominated society he takes out on these "shikses"--variously called Pumpkin, the Pilgrim and the Monkey--this is not a politically correct book from the feminist perspective. It does, however, raise serious questions about what it means to be a human being, as opposed to just a hyphenated-American.

PORTNOY'S COMPLAINT is brash, profane and wonderful. It is certainly not for the faint-hearted or those with what were once considered "polite sensibilities." But it is a very moral book in it's own way. Portnoy knows he's no hero, and Roth doesn't portray him as such--in some ways the book is one big joke. Every effective joke has its kernel of truth; Roth's have the whole can of corn.

I never expected a novel that is one long rant to inspire a review that is one long rave, but there it is."




(This post was last modified: 12-10-2012, 01:35 AM by 007 Game.)
12-10-2012, 01:30 AM
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thejew Offline
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Post: #2
RE: The Jewish Thread
I feel like this is directed at me. But I cannot say I ever had these problems.
Nations who've historically gone through incredible hardships often end up with nutty senses of humor or idiosyncrasies. Irish, Poles, Hebrews.
12-10-2012, 02:02 AM
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007 Game Offline
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RE: The Jewish Thread
Yep, was totally directed at you
12-10-2012, 02:34 AM
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Mixx Offline
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Post: #4
RE: The Jewish Thread
Aren't Jewish men suppose to be good little boys on a quest for everlasting love to one woman? Certainly not a naughty forum line this with notorious womanizers who objectify women like the Latinos do!

So, why is that Jewish boys have no issues fucking non Jewish girls, but Jewish girls have a huge problem fucking non-jews?

Maybe the Jewish-American princess attitude has really turned me off about them.

Oh, and why did the Jews kill Jesus? Wink sorry could not resist!! hehe.

Mixx
(This post was last modified: 12-12-2012, 01:50 AM by Mixx.)
12-12-2012, 01:47 AM
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007 Game Offline
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Post: #5
RE: The Jewish Thread
Yes, we are good little boys, that's the problem and it's what this whole book is about. It's about a 33 years old guy who is trying to enjoy sex and life in general without feeling guilty about it.

And we didn't kill Jesus, who was Jewish himself... the Romans did.
12-12-2012, 08:57 AM
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Mixx Offline
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RE: The Jewish Thread
(12-12-2012, 08:57 AM)Van of Victory Wrote: Yes, we are good little boys, that's the problem and it's what this whole book is about. It's about a 33 years old guy who is trying to enjoy sex and life in general without feeling guilty about it.

And we didn't kill Jesus, who was Jewish himself... the Romans did.

But the most important question, you did not answer Blush
12-13-2012, 02:45 AM
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abc Away
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Post: #7
RE: The Jewish Thread
@Mixx, Jewish guys are circumcised and the majority of non-Jews aren't, could be that. Maybe the Jewish American Princess is looking for the same level of neuroticism and craziness in a guy and knows it's guaranteed from a Jewish guy.
12-13-2012, 08:19 AM
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Sexiback Offline
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Post: #8
RE: The Jewish Thread
How about some first hand descriptive data on how the hole-in-the-sheet banging exactly works?

Gives the term "luv blanket" a whole new gravity.
12-13-2012, 04:49 PM
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Mixx Offline
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RE: The Jewish Thread
(12-13-2012, 08:19 AM)Atlas Al Wrote: @Mixx, Jewish guys are circumcised and the majority of non-Jews aren't, could be that. Maybe the Jewish American Princess is looking for the same level of neuroticism and craziness in a guy and knows it's guaranteed from a Jewish guy.

Hummm....very plausible. Is there a way around this? Oh yeah, I am circumcised too (TMI, I know, but relevant) Smile

Mixx
12-14-2012, 12:38 AM
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abc Away
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Post: #10
RE: The Jewish Thread
Is there a way around this? Not sure, haven't thought too much about it. I'm Jewish and I've never hooked up with a Jewish girl before. Kind of weird now that I think of it. The most obvious thing to do to increase your chances is to put yourself in areas with high Jewish concentrations such as Israel, LA, NY, London, Argentina (prob mostly BA), Sydney/Melbourne.

Another thing I've heard (and I'd like to hear VoV's thoughts) is that when it comes to Israeli girls, they see non-Israeli men as weak and not as tough as their Israeli counterparts. All Israelis do mandatory military conscription for 2-3 years so they come out tougher than the average guy. Has anyone else heard this?
12-14-2012, 02:51 PM
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007 Game Offline
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Post: #11
RE: The Jewish Thread
Hey, sorry I was so busy with this pyramid scam meltdown.

A Jewish girl who fucks a guy can get pregnant... we guys don't have to care about that shit, so for them it's a much bigger issue. I think Jewish girls are just like Greek girls or Italian, some nations just like to keep in the family more than others. Also, we're kind of suspicious with others... there's a lot of people who don't like us. I lived in so many places in the last 10 years and antisemitism is everywhere. There was even a post here a few months ago this guy was telling a story about a "dirty Jew"...

anyway........

12-18-2012, 03:15 PM
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