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The Approach
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G_global Offline
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Post: #1
The Approach
One of the most valued traits I try to achieve in my existence is that of personal objectivity. What I mean here is that I recognize my personal strengths, as well as my weaknesses, so I know where I can rely best on myself and I know where I need to focus on improvement, if possible .

When it comes to the context of PUA, etc., my glaring weakness is the approach. An absolute gaping wound in any game I might claim to have, nothing less. I admit this readily, as not to admit it would be to be in denial, but also, not to attempt to remedy this situation.

I've actually read very little organized "literature" on the topics we've all discussed here. I've done much more reading online, the type of recounting thats full of apocryphal information on "game" and not necessarily organized or compiled in a fashion that is most helpful, rather than most entertaining.

I've read Neil Strauss' book, The Game. Even that book, which was more a recounting of Strauss' experiences with Mystery, wasn't particularly instructional, definitely not in a direct way at least. Very entertaining, however (sidenote: I looked into optioning the movie rights for that book, but they went for a very high bid, and of course, the movie hasn't been made).

I wanted to solicit opinions on the best resources on this topic - what literature, resource, video, blog, whatever, would be the best for starting to remedy the situation.

I'll provide a qualifier - I am not a misogynist, and I don't enjoy reading about stuff thats overtly misogynist (i.e., articles about how the female organism is irrelevant, or how women should be most thoroughly degraded), so I'll probably not be into too much that heads in that direction. Then again, I don't consider sex to be bad or shameful, and so I don't see one night stands in any way as an affront to the female gender.

Once I'm connected, I think I'm fairly capable (I'd like to think I'm funny, and I've had a very interesting life, and I'm not a bad looking guy). It's just the approach, and not being stuck to a wall thinking about approaching - so it actually comes down to two elements, getting rid of approach anxiety, and also, what to say/do on the approach itself. The opening minute or two, primarily.

I think one of the reasons I like China is that the approach here, for white guys at least, is so easy. Either they stare at you until you walk over (and I'm talking about good looking girls), or they introduce themselves, or you're out and about in large groups of people and everyone is introduced. Consequently, these factors have tended to mask the primary weakness in my game, but ultimately, that masking doesn't eliminate the weakness, only the "work" will.

Thanks for your suggestions in advance.
03-01-2013, 01:07 PM
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Dash3 Offline
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Post: #2
RE: The Approach
Its all mental man. Not really much books are gonna help you. You have to switch your thought process to I dont give a fuck. You have to have zero fear of rejection. If you truly want to break approach anxiety your gonna have to approach approach and beat it in your head on every approach that she is just one of a million chicks. She rejects you, her loss, on to the next. After awhile you will get use to it truly condition your mind not to give a fuck.



03-01-2013, 05:18 PM
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Hicks Offline
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Post: #3
RE: The Approach
Just make approaching your goal, don't worry about the outcome. If you focus on making x number of approaches and just making sure you get through them in a fairly short space of time, you can condition yourself to become indifferent to the times when approaches go badly.

When I first realised I wasn't approaching enough, me and friend devised the idea of a shot clock. We'd set a time (normally ten minutes, but can very depending on the venue) and if neither of us had made an approach in that time then we both had to do shots. It gives an added incentive.
03-01-2013, 11:07 PM
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Rick91 Offline
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Post: #4
RE: The Approach
Check out the book models by mark manson and steve jabba has some good articles.


03-02-2013, 01:17 AM
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Dom Taurus Offline
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Post: #5
RE: The Approach
I'd say the best place to start is somewhere you struggle. Now of course I don't expect you to leave china just to practice your approach but just keep this in the back of your head.
Whenever I'm in a country where the approach is easy I don't really learn much I can use when I come back to NY. It doesnt even get me use to talking to girls. I dont know why it just does not help me at all.
The lines I used to approach in Africa WOULD NEVER get me laid here.
So what can you do? Just relax and enjoy for now
When you get somewhere tough just keep in mind this mentality that Roosh wrote in day bang. Im just an interesting stranger and want to have an innocent convo and inbetween cool thing about me might leak out and later i'll give you the option of continuing this interaction.
Ive noticed it matters very little what you approach with. What matters more is what follows. The approach is just to grab her attention. Ive used the shittiest approach ever on a girl last week but I have a date with her later tonight. If you feel awkward she will feel awkward. If you feel at ease she will be at ease with talking to a cool stranger like you
What you described about being a misogynist i guess is somewhat directed to roosh. But do keep in mind he has some really good material for approaching. Its basically training wheels and then later on you get use to it and develop what works for you.
03-02-2013, 01:35 AM
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Rick91 Offline
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Post: #6
RE: The Approach
Also try looking at where your coming from inside while interacting with women. If the phrase "walking on eggshells" sounds like something you can relate to do what you can to change that.
03-02-2013, 03:35 AM
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Dom Taurus Offline
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Post: #7
RE: The Approach
agreed
alot of it is inner game and loosing that fear of getting ridiculed in public chances are that wont happen.
(This post was last modified: 03-02-2013, 04:47 AM by Dom Taurus.)
03-02-2013, 04:46 AM
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G_global Offline
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Post: #8
RE: The Approach
Thanks, all. I'll review the above and check into the references made by each of you.
03-02-2013, 05:00 PM
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G_global Offline
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Post: #9
RE: The Approach
Started to read Savoy's book, Magic Bullets. He's a decent writer, but I'm just underway.
03-06-2013, 01:28 PM
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